I needed to become a bigger part of their lives; I needed to be a father to my angels, in every respect. Myself, I could get away with wearing the same clothes for a year, but they could not. Besides, I needed to get some new clothes too, since I had lost about thirty pounds during my depression, and it showed in my gaunt face and hanging clothes.Now, as far as my finances are concerned, I was ok. I did get a huge settlement from the city and another from the insurance company upon the death of my wife and daughter. The city settlement came because the police should not have been chasing the kid down that street, knowing there was a school down there. Then because of it being an accident, both my wife's and Amber's policies paid double. I mean I wasn't in Sam's category, but I was doing alright. I made just over $60k a year, had $100,000 in each of the girls' college funds, and I had a few investments, mainly ones Sam gave me some tips on. So I had about 80k in my bank accounts, and. Bolder, one must admit with a sense of chagrin. Younger, it must be said because everything counts and nothing does. Lovely and perfect regardless.The tent lies ahead, reaching into the sky, circusy and colourful, striped, slanted, big. The edges turned up slightly, bulging down and arcing up, water collected in the distended material, water balloons sighing with envy. She glances back at me, catching my gaze for a second. Something glistens in her eye slightly, from the rain probably; but maybe not. My breath catches slightly in my throat. Not the rain.The bench she leads me to is covered by the tent, but only barely. Wind shifts and rain blows in sideways and up and down and we sit there. Staring at each other. Saying little. She makes this expression. As hard to describe as she is. For what adjectives run together to make a person like her. It's sad, hangdog, heartbreaking. I have no idea why. Or what it means. Or what I should do. All I want to do is kiss her. Instead I smile at.
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