It could very well be so, because here I was, thirty-nine, divorced and ready to invite a naked man into my apartment, one I had never said one single word to before that day. Is it or is it not insane?I have heard the so-called "experts" state men are more visual than women. Perhaps is so, but all I knew was I wanted to be visual with this man any way I could. I wanted to stare at him, all of him and devour him with my eyes. Right then and there, on some visceral level I knew this was my man. I knew it from the first naked step he took over my threshold. I felt little thrills nibble through me when I looked at him.A part of me sat back and watched me with awe as I laughed and teased him. And my remark about his testicle was not the sort of thing I had ever even thought of saying before right then. Now I know what they mean when they say, "The Devil made me do it." It was as if I had a personal little devil sitting on my shoulder directing my craziness.Yet it felt so good to tease. That didn’t make sense but I was still having trouble chasing thoughts to completion.I heard the door open again and a woman I thought I knew came in. I just didn’t know how I knew her.“Well, there he is,” she said brightly. She wore light purple surgical scrubs and I thought she seemed genuinely pleased to see me. The scrubs made sense to me but I had always been able to see through a doctor’s fake cheer. “Let me get you some ice chips.”The cool wetness felt like heaven and I swallowed greedily.“Easy, Travis,” the woman said as she sat down on the edge of the bed. My mother had arisen and moved a few feet away. “I had to intubate you in the ambulance on the way here and we kept the tubes in you until just a while ago. You went into shock and you stopped breathing. Your throat is going to be very sore for a few more days.”“What?” I asked. The woman offered a soft smile and put a couple of more chips on my tongue.“Do you remember how you got here?” she asked softly.“The plaza,” I.
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