I can only imagine how mad I would have been had hejoined them and not told me." Yeah. I guess this is rather similar to that. You know, only my sisterand you dress in cheer uniforms and heels rather than camo and bodyarmor."Kara blushed but chucked. That was probably a good sign. "It is an oddhobby, I'd admit." But, I don't know, Kara." Eli scratched the back of his neck. "My onlygoal that night was to help out Robert. I had no clue what was going tohappen. Part of me wishes Robert had listened to me when I said he hadnothing to worry about and didn't involve us because then I'd never havelearned all your secret identities." But if you hadn't," Kara said, "you'd never have known about Mal beingSpirit Guard Tenacity." Probably." Eli struggled with his own tongue. He wanted to say theright things. But when it came down to it, that was all that reallycould be said. He wanted some of the consequences of his actions but notall of them. But that wasn't how life worked. "I guess I can't. I could not understand why it was so easy and natural for me to play thepart of a woman. It had only been sixteen days since I had first wornwomen's clothing and now I felt totally natural in them. I was startingto wonder what I would feel about returning to my role as a male CIDOfficer. It had suddenly started to feel that that was the alien role. IfI had to go back to being a man, I knew that I would have to spend someof the time as a girl.I pondered on Kate's attitude. I had loved Kate and had intended to marryher. In the last two weeks, I had found out something about myself andsomething about Kate. I realised that neither Kate nor I were the personthat I had thought we were. It was an eye opener. I now had an emptyapartment that I could no longer afford and no partner.I needed to think about the future, but I could not make sense of it. Iknew that I wanted to stay in the police. I was also reluctant to give upall things girlish. How could I do both? Wild thoughts swirled around.
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