She grabbed her journal that sat on the table and an ink pen. She turned to a blank page. She stared at it for a few minutes before actually writing anything. Guilt ridden, she wrote these words: I am a slave to the pain and taste, feel and touch of sex. I breathe humiliation being thrust upon me like a child being chastised. Will the Lord ever forgive me for this habitual transgression – this lust of the flesh? I feel as though I can’t shake it. Every time I think I want to let it go, I give in and give up and let the pain, not the dominant, act as my master. Will this internal struggle ever end for me? It calls out to me in the middle of the night when I am lonely. I can’t believe I actually thanked God for bringing Cassius into my life because he enjoyed giving pain as much as I enjoyed receiving it. It’s a crying shame to say I can not see a day when I will let go of this thrill and rush I get with every infliction of pain to my body. Help me, Lord! The clock on the night stand. That Mrs Hilde has never really fitted in here. We all think that Mr Young Nick settled for his Prussian bride rather than wait for his intended, and he has been a right old grump ever since.”“Yeah,” piped up one of the other elves, “the grumpiest Santa of all, is Mr Young Nick.” Then, as she was pushed and shoved by some of the other elves for her disloyalty, added insistently, “well, he is!”“Did you know that Bernadette was a widow only five years later, when her husband died?” Gronwynk asked.“Bernadette?”“The French nurse who was chosen by Fate as his soulmate. Because of the war, she married one of her patients who she mended as best she could. His injuries during the war were much more mental than physical, and the doctors and nurses were simply ill-equipped to cope with those added problems. She was only 28, about your age, Miss Jennifer,” Gronwynk continued, “Mr Young Nick should have waited, like Junior waited patiently for you. No, Miss Jennifer, you are Junior’s choice just.
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