"I shrugged. "So I try not to think about it. And when something excites me, some beautiful young Swedish girl maybe ..." I smiled at her teasingly and she blushed again. "Well, I just let things happen in my imagination or my dreams, and I try not to think about real life any more."I saw sympathy in her eyes, and perhaps something more as she looked away for a second, biting her lower lip in a surprisingly girlish gesture. Then she turned back to me, leaned forward, and kissed me softly on the cheek."I am very sorry to hear that. It does not seem fair to me, really, that you ... are in this position."She squeezed her hand on my bare thigh and kissed me softly again. "I need to think on this ... this problem. Perhaps there is a way ... something to be done ..."Her eyes looked deeply into mine, and then she pulled away and stood up. I stood to join her, and she surprised me by pushing up closely against me in a warm full-bodied hug, her arms around me and her face buried in my. Think about it—if a little k** is told everyday by a mean dad that he will never amount to anything—how long you think before he starts to believe it”? “Ok, I get ya—not too long I guess” “Yep, and by the time he's say, 16”? “Ya I see where you going—juvie” “RIGHT”“So Matt, is that what makes you so fearless---positive thinking and shit “? “LOL—well, maybe part of it. The positive reinforcement makes you believe in yourself. Everybody isn't born a jock. Some can throw a ball 50 yards---other's can't even hold it right. Some can wow you through a 20 minute drum solo---and some don't even know how to hold the sticks. 'Fearless' you say ?? You got to believe in yourself 100%. Being righteous and fair is paramount. You go after everything you do with all the fever you got, and the cause at the moment is the most important thing in the world. When you step on your own battlefield, weather it's a football, or b-ball court; boxing match or those streets out there, or defending ur lil bro,.
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