Alice." Richard looked at the gun again."Are you wondering how many more shots I have? It's a 9mm, you know." Yes. I know." His voice was dead calm. "I figure at least nine more."I didn't answer. I might have, I don't know, but things sped up too much. There were sounds in the hall, noises of hurrying, of Armand's voice saying something in fractured, desperate English, of Alice's voice asking something. I turned my head toward the doorway and Richard cocked his head like a sparrow, and at that moment Alice and Armand stum-bumbled into the room, Armand pulling her by an arm, the two of them looking something like a beautiful Larry and Curly running to Moe's call. It would have been amusing, as Richard might have called it, if I hadn't been considering killing him or maybe Alice and him both, or first killing them and then blowing my head off. What was I thinking? The gun felt heavy. I let it drift from Richard to Alice and then back toward him. Alice turned her head back and forth. Kirk was in IT.Three things led me to cheating with black men.Firstly, a bland sex life. As we moved toward our late 20’s, work, k**s, and so on was the forefront – sex, not so much.Second, a majority of our clients were African-American operated or marketed companies. It wasn’t a choice on my part; I simply wanted a job in my field. As a result, there were parties, client events that we organized or attended. I found myself around black men and women quite a bit.Third, black men seemed to adore me. It was all very innocent at first. I’d receive looks or comments in the gym. I’d receive compliments at work on my new skirt or blouse. I’d catch a few clients or coworkers looking at me, staring at my body, as if they wanted it. Admittedly, this was somewhat of a turn on. No one looked at me like that anymore. I thought about how all the hours in the gym paid off. Sadly, Kirk never noticed.For around four years, all I did was befriend, playfully flirt with the various black men I worked.
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