’ Ruth snorted, her hand flying to her mouth. ‘Jack!’ She whispered at me. ‘So what’s the plan?’ ‘Well, I was thinking about talking about fish today. And, um, fish stuff…’ She continued on, talking about feng shui or something, but my head wasn’t letting me focus on her words. Instead, I felt my gaze drifting to her lips, they were— ‘…So yeah.’ ‘Sorry what was that last part?’ ‘I’m thinking chubby. I liked those fluttery ones, with the big eyes.’ ‘The butterfly telescope eyes?’ ‘I think so. You were really into them the last time I came and I kind of, well, fell in love with them too.’ She wandered to the tank of butterflies and stared. They floated, red, orange, pearly light reflecting on her face. Their mouths opened and closed with the rhythm I had memorized. I leaned forward and pinched her cheeks, forcing her lips into a fish face. ‘Glub glub.’ ‘Fuck off,’ she laughed. That night I dreamed about Ruth. I had just built a bookshelf for my den, and spent most of the evening. "I'm sorry, Jackie. I don't mean to laugh at you. No, I'm not trying to get rid of you. And when you move into that room, you'd better not disappear. I still want you eating with us at night and I'll still be glad to make you your breakfast."I'm looking a few years down the road. I figure you and Mary are going to be out of here, going to college in four years. You'll be gone in a couple. The room's not going to be cheap. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind spending the money and I'll get it all back if I ever decide to sell the house. But I figure I might as well be able to make something back on my investment after you move out. It will be perfect for a college kid or maybe a widow or widower. But I don't want to be tied down to feeding a boarder. Having a little apartment with all the amenities will make it more valuable and a lot less of a hassle." Thanks, Mom. I feel a lot better." Jackie, I'll never try to get rid of you. Even if you're a 37 year old loser, still living above the.
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