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Dad told me his life was perfect except he wanted a young wife to be by his side. He didnt have any idea how to find a wife, especially the kind of wife that would not be upset he wouldnt be able to be there for her. He told me he was and always would be dedicated to his congregation and his church. He wanted a woman that wouldnt hound him about not spending enough time with her. Dad ended up hiring someone to hunt for the perfect wife for him. He preferred a woman in her late teens so she wouldnt ask him about money but also was not underage which was eighteen there. He planned when he married he arranged for the church and banks to pay the bills and she would get a small household allowance. Dad told me that he preferred a girl in her late teens before life had spoiled her and shed want too many fancy things in her life instead of just living a humble life without expensive things and fancy clothes. The guy he hired found my mother through someone he knew thousands of miles away. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors."The town council was livid and insisted they change it.So the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."This was also not acceptable so they again changed the sign to read:"Catatonics and High Colonics" - no go.Next they tried: "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives" - thumbs down again.Then came "Minds and Behinds" - still no good.Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes" - unacceptable again!So they tried "Nuts and Butts" - no way."Freaks and Cheeks" - still no good."Loons and Moons" - forget it.Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with this:"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Specializing in Odds and Ends."Everybody loved it.The following are totally offensive and tasteless humor. Caution is advised.1. I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard, and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.2. After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Rick woke up to find himself next to a really.
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