It presented a conservative front to the rest of the world. Its parishioners were conservatively dressed and drove conservative cars, the local Volvo dealer was a member and offered a good discount to church members. There were two services each Sunday, the morning service at 9:30 am and the evening at 7:00 pm. An active social gathering took place after each of these services and the so-called Inner Circle stayed on for longer. During the week, on Wednesday evenings, there was a meeting of the Men’s Group, where a solid core of male members gathered for some social interaction. The conversations at these meetings did not touch on the latest offerings from Mercedes, BMW and Jaguar, far from it. It was a members only group and anyone wanting to join was subjected to a strict screening regime before acceptance. On Thursday afternoons there was a Women’s Group meeting, where a solid core of women members gathered for social interaction. Appearances to the contrary, they did not exchange. When I heard him go up into the loft I smiled, as it would be the last place the object of his search would be, the loft had remained undisturbed since Paul's father had died. While he rummaged around noisily I went to my room, lay on the bed and began to play with myself, I needed to do this more and more each day and the amount of satisfaction I got from masturbating did not diminish the hunger I felt after five years of abstinence. I knew Paul wondered why I didn't date, even at 15 he knew the ways of the world, but I didn't feel confident enough in my self-image. At 46 I was no longer a young woman, even though the mirror showed me a woman that looked much younger I still felt old in myself.A thump of the loft hatch closing told me Paul had finished his search and I wondered if he had found what he wanted. That thought led to another that made me smile as I fingered myself, my son had a teenage crush on me, he thought I didn't know, but I had seen it almost as soon as the crush.
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