She sat next to me and put her laptop on her knee. She said, “Look” as she pointed to the screen, she pressed a button and a video started to play.I froze in horror as I watched myself dressed in her underwear, writhing on her bed. I’m sure I went bright red as I watched myself cum in my hand and eat it. Carla had managed to zoom in for that bit too. “I think you should delete that Carla, I don’t want that video around”. Carla said, “I’m not going to delete it Tony, and I already have a copy of it safe”. I begged her not to let my wife see it. “Don’t worry Tony, if you do what I say she will not need to see it”. I asked what she wanted me to do and she told me that she would let me know in the morning.I left her room and went back downstairs, shit I couldn’t believe it, she had a bloody video, what the hell did she want from me?The next morning soon after my wife had left to drop the kids at school and go to work Carla came into the kitchen. “Hi Tony, here are some stockings and sexy. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, ‘I saw that ... You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’ The Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’Lemon Squeeze There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.’ The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be forgiven.’ The young woman said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made passionate love to me seven times.’ The priest thought long and hard and then said, ‘Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.’ The young woman asked, ‘Will this cleanse me of my sins?’ The priest said, ‘No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.’Catholic Dog Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, ‘Father, my dog is dead ... Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for.
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