It’s not, by the way, like I haven’t tried to bury them in a locked casket and throw away the key. All but one of my therapists did their very best to help me find a way around them, to put them behind me, to break their hold on me, but nothing worked.”“Finally, one therapist — in fact, the one I still have on call in case I ever need her; though it’s been a while, I’m going to talk to her today — suggested that I try the opposite. She said that, since there was some primal instinct within me that chose to survive by ‘enjoying’ what they did to me, allowing myself to experience, and even enjoy, the rest might be the only way to control it and make it part of a fully consensual sex life, just as I have with everything else. And yes, as you’ve no doubt concluded, I accepted long ago that the intensity of my adult sexuality wasn’t necessarily born of my own volition. Nonetheless, it’s part of me now, and I refuse to be ashamed of who I am. I took that power away from them, and I’ll. The speaker asked if there were any more announcements. Someone stood up and mentioned my new promotion. I was asked to stand so everyone knew who I was. It was actually embarrassing but I went along. I received applause and a smile from Tina.Finally the party began and we went up to the buffet and got something to eat. I ordered drinks for our table; there were eight of us in all. Tina and I talked while we ate. Of course we were interrupted a hundred times; it was a party after all.A band set up and after dinner they began to play. I asked Tina to dance. I wanted her in my arms. It felt so good holding her and old memories coming back. We talked about the letters and cards I had sent her. I told her it was all in the past, the main thing is she forgave me; she had her hands around my neck and pulled me even closer.Throughout the night we danced and she did dance with a few others including Mark. I danced with Jenny and thanked her a hundred times for convincing me to come. She was.
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